Saturday, January 09, 2010

CELEB-U-GOSSI-PROCITY!

Okay then!  Today's topic is one that you might know is near and dear to my heart.  I once had a page devoted solely to this subject matter, and it has only continued to provide bloggers like I was with material, endless, fluffy material!  It's celebrity gossip!

This is a ritual among many of my family members and friends, yes, especially the females but not nearly ONLY the females.  We gossip about celebrities, simple as that!  My mom and I (brother too, can't lie for him) love to flip through the fashion and music and gossip mags, wondering aloud whether this story and that are true, admiring one star's new hair 'do, bashing the latest lothario of the music industry with the great gusto of those who know their target is most unlikely never to hear their barbs.  Ha ha ha, isn't it fun to slam the people who are larger than life (well, and also envy and adore and admire)!?  Ahhhh.  Yes, this is a double - edged sword in American society, as well as other nations.   But the purpose of this particular blog entry is not to examine our laws and social mores where celebrities are concerned.  Nor is it to approach the laws that are, should or could be on the books regarding privacy and papparazzi and such.  Nope, sorry, this is a gossip site today.

SO ... What has been happening that has caught y'all's eye?  I've noticed not one but two of the pop divas that were at their peak when I was just coming of club - age:  Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.  Apparently, both are kind of, sort of "back."  Is this good?  What are they doing?  Well, I do know that Brit worked (hard?) on national and international tours this past year ... ask the Australians how that went.  Don't know any Aussies?  Well, then good thing you're here:  All reports out of that country were that angry concert - goers (and I read, but am not confirmed on this, that it was Spears' very first time EVER in the country) were demanding their ticket prices (often equal to $200) be returned to them when they saw within minutes of the opening of her show that lip-synching was the only vocal performance they would get out of the former Disney star.  I mean ... did they expect anything else?  These lip-synch accusations have followed Britney from her very first knee-sock-and-mini-skirt clad concert performances right up to this international "comeback" of hers and always right to the bank nevertheless.  I tend to like Britney for some reason, despite it all.  I don't respect the fact that she doesn't sing live.  I do understand the industry, and I would expect that a pop solo act like her would have major back-up singers employed or more likely backing tracks (with all the high-production effects) to support her.  I have no problem with that kind of track being used when the act is high-action dance and almost acrobatic performance.  You simply cannot sing every note yourself while performing that way.  But most pop vocalists, groups, boy bands, whoever DO sing their lead vocals while dancing, jumping, ripping off their shirts and whatever else.  You are a professional, you have all the best training and rehearsal tools in the world available to you, and you are being paid ridiculous amounts of money.  Sing the lead vocals.  That's my word...

Still, I like the chick in her own little niche of Britney-ness.  I think she has an undeniable star quality that makes your eye follow her and whatever she's doing, be it dancing, singing, acting, walking into Starbucks fifteen times a week, or freaking out and bashing in a car with an umbrella.  There are those among us who could do that and not earn more than a raised eyebrow from the passersby.  But there is that certain something that draws you in, a charisma, a thing you cannot name, that makes someone a star, more than just a pretty girl or a talented dancer.  She has it.  She seems at times to try her best to destroy it and make it ugly, but you can't.  When ya got it, ya got it.  Ok, but here's the thing.  I just saw Brit on a magazine cover with a new brunette do.  GIRL, no you didn't!!!!!!  I'm telling y'all ... Everytime Ms. Spears go brown, she is in a dark and crazy place.  Watch out!!!!!!!

Now.  Christina Aguilera really has nothing in common with Brit except that they both began careers in music at "The Mickey Mouse Club," and both were marketed as sweet pop singers early on and at the same time.  I don't think the ladies could be much different in stature, in talent, in style or personality though.  I can't see anyone arguing that Christina is NOT the superior vocalist by a million miles.  I think she has a beautiful voice with amazing range.  I also love her innate sense of rebellion and soul and feminine power, all of which just seem to BURST forth from her tiny 5'1 or 5'2 (not sure but she's short) body.  She's an amazing talent, the owner of a gift that stands alone and apart from her make-up, relationships, drama in her life, hair color changes, and any other life choices she makes.    I know a lot of women who just hate the way Christina does her make-up and hair.  I have to say that it's not usually the way I would personally choose to accentuate my features if I were her... but have you seen the girl very pared-down?  She's beautiful.  She is fair-haired and blue-eyed, with pearly skin and delicate bone structure.  She looks very small and young and fresh under all her costumes.  But see, I envy that she has that.  That's what fashion models can do:  if you have that perfect bone structure and delicate beauty ... Then  you have a great canvas to just slap gold eye shadow and orange blush and purple sparkly false eyelashes all on your face and work it out, creating a whole new look!  This is how people take a model and create someone completely new.  Not all of us can do this, but it's so fun!  Anyway, I dig Christina, I relate to her in some ways.  She's rough and tumble, she was never going to fit that bubble-gum pop image for very long, and she just really speaks her mind.  Sometimes she has said stupid shit...just plain stupid crap and then years pass, and she grows a little and shows a new opinion.  That's all of us.  I like that she tries to be someone real, tries to stay true to who she is, even as that person is growing up and changing as we all do. 

BUT.  What made me think of her is that I hear she's doing her first movie, something about burlesque or ??? I have basically no information about it, except that all I can think of is "Glitter" starring Mariah Carey and many J-Lo flops.  I fear for the endeavor, but hey.  I could be too pessimistic.  I hope the girl kicks ass.  ...So she's on the cover of my new Marie Claire magazine, I guess in promotion of the movie and whatever else she might be working on now (I'll let you know what I read).  And the headline reads: I'M A DIFFERENT PERSON NOW.  Oh my word.  Seriously?  I don't know who sucks more, the staff of the magazine or Aguilera.  How many times have I heard her say that, with every change of her boyfriend or her clothes or her marriage or whatever-the-fuck!?  Let alone, how many times has EVERY celeb told us that after stints in jail or rehab or perhaps a combo thereof?  I hate that cliche.  Christina, you are NOT a different person.  You are the same person you were last year, the same one who sang "Genie in a Bottle," the same one who was in "The Mickey Mouse Club," and the same damn one you'll be tomorrow.  Please.  See, while I respect that she talks about changing and growing, let's not every time we come out with a new project pretend that we are a completely new star, 'kay?  Is it just me?

Well, moving on ... That got a litte long about the divas, so I'd just like to add a few random thoughts and observations on other pop culture thangs:
1.  Sir Charles Barkley is hosting Saturday Night Live tonight!  Don't think I won't be       parked right here on this ass at 10:30 p.m. CST!

2.  I am not feelin' this Lady Gaga phenomenon.  I mean, obviously everyone has their own subjective taste in music, and that is the beauty and nature of art.  Okay, but she is just so beloved by so many really various people I know, that I thought okay, usually when someone can pull a lot of different "demographics" like that, they are really bringin' it.  But man, I watch her videos, I hear the music, I read interviews with her, see things she says, and I don't get it.  And let me just seal the deal with my observation that I especially wasn't feelin' her I'm-a-naked-skeleton-nylon-thing-so-I'm-obvs-fashion-forward outfit at the American Music Awards this past year.  That is all.

3.  Let's see, last but not least, for now ... Hmmm.  Oh! Okay.  One, I think that Levi Johnson is hot, and that's that, so eff off.  And two, I'm very sorry that we lost the talented Heath Ledger in such a tragic and untimely way; however that doesn't make me want to see this new movie.

That is all.

1 comment:

Junkie_Monkey said...

Excellent post -- agree with you, especially when it comes to lip-syncing. God damn it drives me nuts! The whole point of a live show is that you want to hear something different from the album you just bought, not to hear it re-played while the singer dances around naked. That's what YouTube is for.

-JM