Lighter and Fluffier!

WOW!! Thanks to all who responded to my complete confusion regarding the "Queen of Canada." If you haven't checked out the Comments section to my prior post, here is what I've been told by my British friends (and a few informed Americans!). Apparently, the Queen of England considers herself (is considered? by whom?) Queen of all states that are part of the British commonwealth. Sorry, I didn't even know Canada would fall under that umbrella. My friend, Gleds (http://gledwood2.blogspot.com/), tells me that this encompasses about 17+ countries, many in Africa even. So that is why there is a Governor General (who would be second-in-line to the Queen, as I understand it) in Canada and, I imagine, other countries as well. REALLY?! In this day and age, these "independent" and sometimes "democratic" societies put up with this shit? Wow. I guess I just don't "get" the royal thing. Call me an ugly American. No, don't really, or I'll come over there in my brightly colored flower-print leggings and T-shirt, laughing loudly and pummel you (a few of the images and characteristics asribed to us, yeah?).

So, I wanted to talk FASHION today, which is part of the reason I deemed this post lighter and fluffier. Ladies (and gents, if you wish to weigh in), how do we feel about the jumper / romper / onesie trend this season?? I've been seeing these everywhere (see the photos), and I always find myself wanting to go get one ... although try finding something like this at your local J C Penney, ha! Yes, I am just a hop, skip and jump from the trendy Michigan Avenue boutiques in Chicago, but no, sadly, I do not usually have the income to spare for their wares.

Anyway, I've noticed that while I usually want to run out and find one of these comfry outfit-all-in-one pieces when I see it on, say, Blake Lively ... I then catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror before leaving for the shops and think again. Not sure how this would look on me, a 33-year-old non-model. Hmmm. I'm not overweight, and I'm considered by some to be good looking enough, but still. I'm not Blake Lively or Kate Moss. Thoughts?

What?!--Prop 8, the Reign of the Canadian Queen & More!

Today I'm calling on the readers to help me out! Drop me a comment and help me further my education about the topics herein!! I'm feeling lost ...

Well, I guess I'll start with California, who today upheld Proposition 8, the now-infamous "prop" that bans gay marriage. In a strange allowance, I guess you could say, the court did rule that previously married gay couples, who became such before the ban was in place, could remain, well, married. Now, maybe some of you legal eagles out there, who are farther along in your law education than I or who are full-fledged professionals even, can shed some light on this for me?? I read the articles and watched a little bit of coverage today after work regarding this ban and all the activities accompanying it. And I understand that the ruling was really more of a legal decison based on how to amend California's constitution properly (which I guess the court feels was not done when gay marriage was allowed at first). I think what I was getting was that the Supreme Court of CA had to rule based upon its interpretation and application of the law based on those procedures that render an amendment to the constitution legal or not.

But what's the problem? These journalists seem to have trouble explaining it themselves! I'm curious as to what the legal issues are exactly, and I guess I would like to know what must be done by the state's citizens in order to properly call for and enact an amendment enabling gay people to wed. Obviously, it's a democracy, and if the vote doesn't stand up for that opinion, it wouldn't fly. But how to go about doing it? Does anyone know?

Okay, second, I'm not sure whether I'm the only person who did NOT realize this, but did you know that Canada has a QUEEN???? I was reading about that on Wikipedia and some other places, and I was flabbergasted. Oh yeah, go on and make jokes about how Americans don't know about other places in general, but this is news to me and I have beyond a 4-year college education. So I simply can't be the only one who didn't know this. Really, a QUEEN? The Wiki article seemed to state that the queen in Canada has even more power in government affairs than, say the Queen of England, who is widely regarded as a figure-head. What in the world? Now who can explain THIS to me?

And, last but certainly not least, I stated my brief opinion yesterday on Facebook regarding something I heard about the Cavaliers, the basketball team. What in the hell are they doing, considering selling a part of the team to a business group in China? So should we just lie down and die then? We are in the middle of the worst economic crisis of my lifetime, and we're just going to sell off pieces of the fabric of our society and culture to the highest bidder...ESPECIALLY one that has long had its sights on taking us down in so many ways!?!?

As the kids like to say, WTF?

Ugh...Mehhh...

Whoo. It was damn hard getting back to work today, I must say. I worked my normal 8-hour day, beginning around 9:30 this morning, and it just dragged on and on!! I expected a lot of the usual suspects to be out, i.e. the types of shoppers who come in and want to swindle, trick, lie, cheat, steal and perform other tomfoolery to get money out of us (out ME, because I take it all personally and, well, it does eventually trickle right OUT of my paycheck when they TAKE). I'm not up for a rambunctious debate today; otherwise, I would describe who these people typically are: Oh yes, believe it or not, there are certain genders, generations, and yes, nationalities / cultures that tend to try the rip-off schemes more than others. In general. But I'll go into that another time. I was blessed that I didn't have to have those types of confrontations today...none at all really.

There were a few hours in the afternoon when I really thought I wouldn't make it. You know, the past four days when I was first very sick and then recuperating at home, I really tried to get out and do things. I took a long walk / hike in the sunshine one day, I played a few moderately challenging games on my wii fit another, but other than those things I did watch movies and study a lot. Sedentary. I finished the first half of my Paralegal course, however!!! This was a major feat, as it has been weighing on my mind for ages and has been very grueling at times, given the health issues and the chaos they bring in combination with just trying to do everyday life and work.

Tonight I'm going to try to sleep early and haven't been doing much except reading a few blogs and books at home and playing with my cat. He needs exercise, the big guy, so I try my damnedest to get him some activity no matter HOW bad I feel. We chased the top to a water bottle all around the apartment for awhile, because he was very excited about that today. Then we played chase-the-laser-beam, which is a cat favorite. I hope it was helpful for him. I remember when I got him at the shelter, and they were having me fill out all the paperwork to take him home. I'm not sure whether they do this everywhere, but at our city shelter, they had me fill out a "commitment form," which basically stated that I would care for my guy in terms of food, water, love, veterninary care and whatever else in the world he needs, for the rest of the time I own him. It was serious!! It mentioned that I understood that caring for my pet could get expensive in terms of money and also time or sacrifice but that I was signing my recognition and acceptance of these things. Now, they can't very well enforce what I signed, but I took it to heart and have never forgotten. I'm all he has. If I don't wake up and go to sleep thinking about his well-being, his health, his food, his toys, his happiness, there isn't any other creature on Earth who will. That means a lot to me.

Anyway, he's happy and content it seems right now, purring while he observes our world from the top of my desk, amongst my law books. The other day, he was lying asleep when I got home right in the middle of all of them! It was cute; I hoped he was absorbing some information by cat osmosis in order to give me pointers for my tests :) Here is a picture (okay yes, maybe there is one VOGUE magazine amongst my study materials, lol).

More on the Migraines and ...Uh, More... :)

I saw a very tenacious, progressive, and, perhaps, worthy, doctor last night (for the second time). And I have some interesting findings to share!

This doctor does a quite fascinating battery of tests to begin the process of treating whatever it is that's ailing a patient. His first certification and education is as a Psychiatrist, interestingly enough, but he now does quite a lot of things. He's helping me with a whole array of issues. It's amazing also that I found him not too far away from here, in a northern suburb of Chicago, when the only other place that does this battery of tests is the Mayo Clinic!!

So, for the answers! He did a test that checked my brain chemistry (serotonin, dopamine, etc.); a test that checked what enzymes I have in my DNA (apparently we all have certain enzymes from our parents and they are needed to break down different foods we eat and medicines); and finally, one test measured things like vitamin deficiencies and such. Very complicated, and I'll try not to bore you!! But it's been somewhat exciting for me, because the results have helped me obtain hope.

Well, for Test One, we discovered that my brain chemistry is, in a word (one that I choose), fucked! At the time of my blood test that morning, there was literally NO measurable serotonin in my body!! Yet, over the course of 24 hours, I had a reasonable amount. It was the same for all of my chemicals. What this means, the doc said, is that over the course of my days, my dreadful, dreadful days lately (!!), I "must be suffering terrible swings in mood and often not knowing what the hell hit you!" And YES! YES! That is precisely how I feel most of the time: waking up perky most times, and yet, by mid-day feeling depressed or even ragingly angry or anxious but for absolutely no apparent reason. It's much to do with the chemicals!!

The DNA / enzyme thing is a bit more complex, but to make a long story short, I am missing two of the four main enzymes that our bodies use to break down most medications and foods. This means that I can take a great deal of our common prescriptions such as painkillers or anti-depressants, etc., and I will often get many of the side effects and no benefit. YES!! This has happened so often!! This also explains why some people in society (at least according to the doc's theory) begin to take more and more of a substance ... say, Vicodin ... hoping to get a benefit, but by the time they do, they've gotten horribly toxic and sick and addicted. And some don't, because it works properly for them, and then they're done with it. Interesting, isn't it?! So we can begin to explore what WILL work in my body now ... both for my moods and my migraines. This is great!

Finally, I was found to be horribly deficient in a couple of vitamins, worst of all, Iron!! That means, of course, that I'm terribly Anemic. I don't know why. I mean, I take a multi-vitamin most days, and I try to eat a balanced diet. But you know, the American diet can be quite lacking at times, and I guess I'm not absorbing enough for whatever reason. The doctor says that people who are as Anemic as I am often display symptoms of terrible depression, migraine and even ADHD!! So some supplements are in order immediately.

I hope this doesn't sound like a bunch of dumb mumbo-jumbo to everyone. I'm just very happy to have some measurable results and some answers...results to turn toward and perhaps try to find treatments. It was sad to me to look at that profile on paper, that person on the page of lab results, if you can imagine. I looked at that poor woman, thinking, Damn, no wonder you are struggling through your days! You are sick, and your brain is out of whack, and then add in the normal stresses of trying to hold onto a sucky job with bad insurance while facing the fact that I sometimes have absences due to these illnesses (and thus lose my wages)...and UGH! It's drama!

I'm not saying that I feel sorry for myself, because I'm not feeling that way. Like I said, it's a chance to do something to fix these things :) It's just that, looking at myself in that objective way, on the lab page, gave me an opportunity to see that it's not my fault. I often go through my day thinking, "Snap the fuck out of your dismal mood! STOP being so goddam negative! STOP being so fucking argumentative / pessimistic / bitchy!!" I'm always ripping on myself in my head for these mood swings, and thinking that something I did (sleeping too long or not enough, stressing too much, exercising too much or too little, eating the wrong things????) caused a migraine that I get ... I torture myself!!! But when I saw these results, I had to step back and breathe and say, okay, this is not all your fault, this is something that is also HAPPENING to you no matter what you do, and it's working AGAINST your best efforts. So that was difficult to accept but also liberating.

Well, on a much lighter note, my brother let me borrow "Hot Fuzz" tonight for something fun and funny to do! It's awesome, and I am laughing my ass off right now. And playing with my cat! All in all, a good day. I even finished two assignments for school. Whew!