Just Gotta Vent and Sort Today

Just feel like venting about some things and sorting out my feelings and thoughts...

I guess I've had a semi-productive day. I wished it would be sunny today; I had plans of taking the last of my school reading material (the last for THIS lesson) down by the pool. I thought maybe sunning myself and finishing work at the same time would help me focus and have some fun while doing something I've grown to hate. The school is difficult, because I really need a teacher, someone to help me with the Law Library, etc. And I elected to take this correspondence course, because I was thinking at the time about how well I work on my own, how my schedule would be varied all the time, and it would fit in best for me to work independently on my class. I am smart, okay? I know that if I set my mind to learning what I want to learn, then I can do it. But really, what we're going over now would be much easier to grasp with someone to show me around, give me an idea of what these technical terms and procedures LOOK like in practice. I don't think this is the type of course that anyone should take in this format. But I'm going to do what I can. Due to my headaches, I've gotten behind on my lessons too. I'm going to see how much I can accomplish in the next several weeks; then I might have to request an extension. Big sigh.

On the bright! I have been loving my free HBO that Comcast gave me for the rest of my lease! I usually find myself watching the documentaries most often; they have some really interesting ones! Today there was a cool one about a class in Florida where teenagers write poetry to their parents, describing things they've always wanted to say to them but couldn't. Then the parents were invited to a reading of this poetry (boy, that took some bravery on the part of the writers!), with mixed results. One beauty of a mom in particular said she refused to go to the reading and that was her way of "showing him [her son] that he doesn't control me." Excuse me?

Otherwise, I am continuing the slow journey of taking my new medicines and vitamins, doing the things I am supposed to be doing to get my new treatment plan to work and really be effective. I am so hopeful, so prayerful about it, working so hard at doing everything right ... I just really want this time to move forward. If it takes a bit, then it does (of course, I would prefer that it would all get better, or go away, NOW), but I just don't want anymore setbacks. A steady progression forward would be wonderful, so wonderful.