Well, I wasn't exactly sure what shape I wanted today's post to take. Many things are swirling around in my mind, but my mind is also quite tired and harried due to the pain I've been in for several days now. A word on that ...

I've been suffering inexplicably for about four days, almost without relief, with one of my migraines. It has been strange in that the pain itself is just nearly unbearable, but it hasn't come to the point of barfing or even very bad nausea. So that's not typical. It did, however, get so terrible and un-yielding yesterday, that I broke down and went to the Emergency Room. Dammit! It was a relief in that the doctor was nice and gave me heaps of Morphine which happily helped me and lasted throughout the night. I can't believe how amazing it felt to NOT be in the presence of pain for so many hours after the days and days...

But today it was back, strong as ever. I don't know what is going on. It's so shitty, I don't know what else to say. I left a message for my new doctor, kind of telling him the few things that do seem to be helping and then the things that are not. Hopefully he'll have some thoughts. I'm not working til Wednesday now, so I am praying for healing by then.

So, Michael Jackson is dead, y'all. I sort of can't believe it, but then, why can't I? I guess it's that way when we just get used to having a certain public figure "amongst" us for so many years. I have to tell you that I have really stayed away from even reading about his personal life for many years now. I had no idea, for example, that it's been common knowledge that he abused drugs and was always trying to get prescription drugs, even from Deepak Chopra when he visited once. I mean, I just thought he always acted weird naturally! Also, I have no idea what happened with him and those little kids. I tend to believe there were untoward behaviors, but I don't know what it was all about.

For example, when I see articles in my beloved, guilty-pleasure celebrity rags that are about Jenifer Anniston, Brad Pitt, and/or Angelina Jolie ... I just turn the page. I can't stand any of them. I don't CARE what they do, what they think, who they date, what babies they have or charities they pretend to give to...blah blah blah. And that's how I was with MJ.

But now, the music was another story. OOH, I can still hear that Kris Allen on "American Idol" recently singing Michael Jackson's "Human Nature." He did a great job with it, and I was so moved. That's my favorite ballad by MJ for sure, and possibly my favorite song by him of all. I used to moonwalk until my feet hurt in my socks, on my mom's tile kitchen floor. In the clubs, to this day, I like to break out a few Michael moves, or at least MJ-inspired moves, when old-school music comes on. I mean, he just inspired EVERYTHING that I love, from R&B to hip hop to every dance move you see people do now. The last time I saw Chris Brown perform (and yes, he is a talented young dude no matter what sort of issues he has), I thought, boy, if that isn't Michael Jackson in the flesh, I don't know what is. The man was an amazing, outstanding talent. I don't know when or if we'll see such an inspiration again come from the world of pop music.